First of all, I greatly enjoyed the phrase "cat fuzz" - that was awesome. Sorry to hear about the trouble you are having with the Spaceport Adjustable A/C Ceiling Vent# A10-3357VP although there isn't a method that is used for the slats to stay open, because they should simply do so on their own, as you can see at about the 1:30 mark of the linked video review of this product.
It sounds like yours is not functioning properly, so you can replace it with another. If you don't want one with... view full answer...
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